Sunday Funny


(A lexophile of course!)

•   How does Moses make tea?  Hebrews it.
•   Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!
•   A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.
•   I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
•   Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
•   England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
•   I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
•   They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
•   I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
•   Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•   I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
•   I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
•   This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
•   When chemists die, they barium.
•   I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
•   I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
•   Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
•   I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
•   Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her Pupils?
•   When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
•   Broken pencils are pointless.
•   What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.
•  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
•   All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.
•   I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
•    Velcro – what a rip off!
•    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.


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